Life is an Adventure!

It's a boy!!!

2011-08-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

I think that this picture speaks for it's self.

We had our ultra-sound today! What a great experience. I have felt all along that this one was going to be fine, so I wasn't too worried. But just seeing everything so perfect made me cry tears of joy. A couple of appointments ago The nurse couldn't finda good heart beat because baby was moving around so much, so they zipped me in for a quick ultra sound. I was about 14 weeks at the time. We saw what looked like girl parts, but she said it was really too soon to tell. But still I had thought I was having a girl and I thought that confirmed it. I did have thoughts and feelings earlier that I might be having a boy, but after that early ultra-sound I put them out of my head. So it was a bit of a surprise to see the boy parts below. I am so excited to be having a little boy. And so greatful for all the blessings that Heavenly Father has blessed us with. Our due date is December 31st. What a day that'll be or whenever it is that he decides to come.

His profile

Little legs- they are beautiful!

Side view- He's laying on his back with legs and arms in the air. Just chill'n! I need to turn the pic, but couldn't figure out how yet. So hopefully this makes sense. It's beautiful to me.

21 weeks - 5 months

2011-08-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

In a few days we get to have our ultrasound. We'll get to find out what we're having for sure. I'm pretty sure it's a girl. But we'll see. It's crazy this is where we found out last year about all Zeke's problems, in this 20 ultrasound. And then our world was changed forever. I feel that everything is ok this time. We've had two quickie ultrasounds previously when they couldn't get a good read on the heartbeat, and everything looked fine in both. "She" looked like a cute little jellybean with arms and legs. I can't wait to see how big "she's" gotten. I can feel her move inside me now. This is also way exciting as I did not feel Zeke move at all at this stage. Later I did, but not a lot. I'm greatful for all the blessings Heavenly Father has given us. THANK YOU!!

A Great Blessing

2011-06-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

So I've figured out why the lord was trying to tell me to slow down. I'm happy to announce that we are expecting. I'm due Jan.2nd. We are so excited. I've been so so sick, which is a good thing. It's when I haven't been as sick that I have miscarried, so I have a strong feeling that this one is going to make it to full term. I think it's either a girl or twins (a boy and a girl). perhaps the twins idea is just wishful thinking, but I've felt for some time that we had a little girl waiting , I just didn't know how I was going to get her here after two miscarriages after we lost Zeke. Patience....... all in good time..... etc.... I'm just so greatful to my Father in Heaven for blessing us with this pregnancy.

Perspective

2011-05-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've neglected my blog for so long there is probably nobody left checking it. Facebook seems the easiest way to see how someone is doing. Although as I looked a blog (the nie nie dialogues) I reminded of why a blog was special in the first place. It's like the difference between texting and having a real conversation with someone. Texting does the job. It gets the info back and forth. But once you get to sit down one on one with that friend you truly treasure those moments. So while I must fight to not become facebook addicted to the instant gratification of acknowledgment from friends, which I like so many others love, I'm greatful to visit the blogs of my friends and feel like I've had a good chat with them. Still nothing compares to really being face to face.

Anyway, what a long introduction, I've given myself. I guess I'm in a contemplative mood. There are so many things I wish I could share about my life the past year, but most of them are too tender for me to discuss here. But I am awed and inspired as I watched the 20/20 interviews of Stephanie Neilsen and her family. She is the writer of the nie nie dialogues, and is dealing with having her face and most of her body burned beyond recognition. Yet she has such a great attitude and determination to get up everyday and do those little things for her family that can seem so hard for her, and she thrills in it. It makes me want to be a better mother.

This year has been a very busy year for me, full of lots of outside assignments. Like volunteering to teach music once a week at the elementary school, being PTO President and attending all the school board meetings just so I could understand what is going on. Then there is my church calling (which I completely enjoy and would have been lost without.) Needless to say I have been sooo busy that sometimes perhaps my children have had to take backseat to my many many meetings. They have not complained and are so great. In fact today as we were watching a pbs show called Wild Krats, they were talking about alligator mommies and how they protect their babies, etc.... They said something about there not being a better mother and my sweet Wesley said, "except our mom". What a sweet thing to say.

I believe I needed to be busy this year in order to grieve slowly at a rate that could be handled without falling apart. If I was busy I was not thinking of my loss. I have been so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in getting through my trial that I felt such pain and sorrow for those in the world who do not know Him. I felt so drawn to being out there in the world to be able to help all those that I possible could. Our community struggles with community spirit, and through PTO and volunteering I've been desperately trying to encourage more community spirit. I don't know how well I've done at this, but I've given it my best shot. And now it's time for me to come home.

It is frustrating to try to save everyone, to save the world. I will keep trying if only for the one that perhaps I may help, because I know that I can not save everyone, indeed the only one I can save is myself, and then be an example to those around me. And even at that I have not "saved" myself because I am only the person I am because of what my Savior has done for me. However, the Lord is gently reminding me that those most important and most effected by my example are my own children. And what good is it to me, to save many others if I lose my own children in the process. Not that I am at risk of losing my children. They are still young, but that, or now, is the time I need to focus on them. So though it pains me some to give up the music program at the school and perhaps the PTO, as I've not been able to find a replacement yet, I know that I need to be home. Which leaves some openings that perhaps others will feel inspired to step into. I guess my perspective is changing and thats good. I just hope always to be led by the Lord to do those things that He wants me to do in the moment he wants me to do them.

Time is a funny thing!

2011-04-09T15:13:00.000-07:00

It seems crazy to me that time can fly and yet stand almost still all at the same time. One year ago, I can hardly believe it has been a year, and yet I have learned so much and it seems like an eternity, we said hello and good-bye all at the same TIME, to our sweet baby boy Zeke Ellis Stanger.

I knew that the one year anniversary, or angelversary, would be hard. But I still planned on celebrating our beautiful son. Which we did. I was not prepared however for the emotional set back. To be honest my emotions went right back to day one. I cried and cried and slipped into a deep sadness. After a couple weeks I'm almost back to... well not normal, for i'll never be whatever that is again. However, I'm not sure I was ever there to begin with. :-)

But as TIME goes by whether slowly or fast, I know that our love for our Zeke and is love for us will last and last.

Hee hee, well that's my attempt at some poetry. I must say a HUGE thank you to all my friends who love and support me and have helped me in my times of need.

My Aunt - A great Lady.

2011-01-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

I've just been thinking of my Aunt. She's been struggling with cancer and has called her children home to say "good-bye". I hope her immediate family doesn't mind me writing about her, I am taking such a liberty based on the fact that she is my aunt.

I remember the first day I met her. She was dating my uncle. I was pretty much his shadow whenever we visited grandma and grandpa. They lived on a dairy and I would follow my uncle around as he did chores, feeding the cows, and milking them. On this day my "aunt" was also with him. They were so kind to let me, the little kid (8yr old) following them around. They did not send me away. We were in the milking barn when she asked me what I thought about her being my aunt. Well of course I was excited. I'm so greatful for these memories.

I'll never forget the great talks we were able to have after her first bout with cancer and when I was losing my baby boy. Her insight and spiritual perspective were such a strength to me in my time of need. She taught me great lessons, that I'm ever so greatful for. I love you my aunt!! A Great Lady.

The Gym...

2011-01-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

So I've been losing weight again, and this time I'm able to exercise. So I thought I'd go and enter the contest at Gold's Gym in our area to win a car. Not that I think I'll win necessarily but it could be fun and provide more incentive. Anyway, I got through the whole process to the picture at the end. I weighed, did the body mass thing, and got measured, entered into the computer. They even gave those who entered a free session with a trainer.

Well, I got to the picture part and turns out the contest is not based on how much weight you actually lose but on the biggest difference in your pictures after 12 weeks. So for the picture I would have to wear shorts and show my midriff etc... now this might not be a big deal for some, but for me it was a deal breaker. Needless to say I did not get my picture taken, but I did get the free session with a trainer which I'll be doing on thursday. and I asked for a free week's pass, which I got. So I went yesterday and today, it's been totally fun. Too bad the membership is just too much money right now. But I'm having fun with it now. Zumba, pilates, step aerobics, who knows what tomarrow may bring.

Merry Christmas - our Christmas Letter.

2010-12-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
First I want to thank you all for sending us your lovely Christmas cards last year. I love getting all the friends and family updates. And seeing your cute pictures. Last Christmas was a crazy time for us and I was not up to sending cards. To be truthful, we were at the beginning of one of our greatest trials/blessings. Dec. 1st last year marks the day we found out that our unborn son had Edwards Syndrome. The doctors told us this condition is “not compatible with life”. I found it too hard to focus on well wishing greetings when the biggest and obvious trial was the only thing I could see in my life. One year later however, I am now excited to send out well wishing greetings.

The Lord has truly blessed us in our trials. Our son Zeke Ellis Stanger was born March 26th, 2010 at 11:13 p.m. He lived a moment. He lived just long enough to take a breath and blink at his daddy. This moment was an answer to many prayers and many fasts. As you can guess I am NOT a fan of the words “not compatible with life” as I have found that there are many children with this condition (also called trisomy 18) that do survive their birth and actually live for quite some time. We have experienced many miracles with our Zeke. We know that his challenges and disabilities were all a part of the Lord’s plan for him.

Our testimonies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His church here on the earth have been deepened through our experiences so far. We know our Savior, that he lives, and he loves us. We are so grateful to have had Zeke Ellis Stanger in our lives. Our lives have been forever changed because of our moment with him.

As for the kids, they are doing great and taking everything in stride. Wesley has just turned 8. He was baptized earlier this month. That was a great occasion, and a special “spiritual payday” for mom and dad. He loves to play basketball and is taking piano lessons. He also had a chance this year to wrestle and really enjoyed it. We got just a peek into the world of wrestling. This is a world which was totally new to us. Lily is 5 and has started kindergarten. She loves school, is learning a lot and loving it. Madi is 3 and spoiled rotten ( in a good way). She loves to sing and dances all around the house with Lily in their pretty dresses.

Kip is still elder’s quorum president, and I’m the secretary in the stake young women’s program. I have to admit that this has been one of my favorite callings. I work with awesome women and get to plan and play at girls camp in the summer. It’s so much fun. This is my third year as PTO president, and I’m definitely learning a lot there. This year because of budget cutbacks our school cut their music program, so a friend, and I have volunteered to teach music once a week in the elementary school. We just had our Christmas concert and all went well, the kids sang and Santa came, yeah!!! Life is full, crazy and definitely an adventure.

May the Lord bless you this Christmas season. Lots of Love from the Stangers. Kip, Leejean, Wesley, Lily, Madi, and Zeke

A project!! yeah a project!! it's homemade. :)

2010-12-16T19:41:00.000-08:00

Two blocks with many messages. Let me know what you think.

Christmas is in the air!

2010-12-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas time!! It's in the air. People are nicer, Christmas music on the radio, and HO HO HO every where you go. ok maybe just a giggle or two thinking of how I'm going to try and surprise my husband with a present this year. What to surprise the kids with. It's just soo much fun. Merry Christmas everyone. lots of love to you all!!!

Spiritual Paydays

2010-12-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the temple last week and had the opportunity to be sitting by the mother of a youngman going for the first time in preparation to serve a mission. As we talked just a little about being a mother she mentioned that these times, watching your child make good choices, are paydays for mothers. Well today I had a mother's payday, and I suspect that my mother and my husband's mother were also experiencing a great payday as we watched my husband baptize and confirm our son. I felt so happy my body could not contain the immense joy as it spilled over my eyes. My poor Lily, who has seen me cry too many times to count was worried at first, and told me not to cry. I promptly let her know that these were tears of joy, as I was able to watch my young son making the choice to follow Jesus Christ, and could also feel the presence of our Angel son, Zeke, there as well. What a GLORIOUS night. The spirit was so strong. I'm so greatful for the Gospel.

Remembering December 1st 2009

2010-12-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

One year ago today was a crazy day, but it does help me to remember some of the Lord's tender mercies on such a hard day. We were scheduled for our first routine ultrasound for our pregnancy. I felt sad and unsettled but did not know why. I desperately wanted Kip to come to the appointment with me. But due to work it looked like he wasn't going to be able to make it. He also had no way of knowing how distraught I was feeling. Kip was trying to see if he could make it, but called to tell me that he really couldn't do it. I broke down on the phone and just cried. My dear husband realizing the terrible state of my emotions was able to put emergency status on my needs and was able to get out of whatever work he was supposed to do. We made it to the appointment together.

The Lord knowing that we would both need the emotional support of each other made sure that we were there together. I finally understood why I felt the way I did. It was His way of making sure that we were both there to hear the news together and be there for each other.

The doctor was one that I had not met before, so when he was so quiet at first I didn't know if it was his personality or if there was something wrong. He continued to look at everything for quite a while and still was not saying much. I was able to see a few things for my self but had no idea exactly what they meant. The Lord had prepared me for this. I had a feeling that everything was not going to be exactly perfect some time before this. But I figured in my head that perhaps I would have a downy (downs syndrome). But I did not discuss this with anyone. So I was not surprised by there being something, but I was surprised by what it was. Also I had for sometime not felt comfortable about praying that our little one would be healthy with no problems or complications. This I also kept close to my heart and did not speak. How do you tell someone else that you don't feel like it's right to pray for a healthy baby.

When the doctor finally did speak he started pointing out things that were "wrong" with our boy. A boy? yes a boy. oh we are having a boy. I knew it. But our boy was not "perfect". He had fluid on his brain, a hole in his heart, and his intestines were on the outside of his body (kind of like a big hernia). Of course they offered termination, which we quickly let them know was NOT an option for us. Another ultra-sound was set up for the next day with a specialist in Boise. It was here that we found out more and I had an amniocentesis. (a whole other story since I'm very needle phobic) here again the Lord blessed me and helped me through this ordeal. 2 weeks later we received the results of the amnio that confirmed what they all thought all along. Which to be quite honest felt anti-climactic. I wanted better news. Tell me we were wrong, everything is going to be ok, anything, but yep we were right. Our sweet boy was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome.

As we came home and shared our news with those closest to us, we found more instances where the Lord had already put into place those people who would be able to help us with this trial in our lives. Our doctor was a wonderful religious man who was sensitive to our needs. I found that my Visiting Teacher from church had also had a little boy with Edwards Syndrome. One of my aunts had had a little girl with Pa tau's Syndrome, or Trisomy 13.

Our Journey had begun. There are many many more miracles given to us as we came to know our little man. He was exactly as he should be, perfect in his own way, beautiful beyond comparison, our son Zeke Ellis Stanger. He was born March 26th. He lived just a moment, long enough to take a breath and blink at his daddy, and change our lives forever.

Happy Birthday Day Wesley!!!

2010-11-27T20:00:00.000-08:00

Wow, eight years ago today, I was scared to death waiting to embark on the newest, grandest, and hardest adventure of my life. I was getting ready to give birth for the first time. I remember knowing without a doubt that I was going to die, and someone else was going to have to raise my baby. But as you can read I did not die and my fears gave way to incredible joy as I found myself holding a new purplish little monkey-face that I found absolutely beautiful. Now he's eight and comes up to my shoulders, can wear my shoes & socks. He's such a good boy and I'm so proud of him. I would "die" all over again to have him in my life. Happy birthday to my first baby. I love you Wesley!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

2010-11-25T20:47:00.000-08:00

With so many things to be thankful for it's hard to pick just one. Of course we all think first of our families, spouses and children, parents and siblings. My sister said it well today when it came to her turn around the table, she said that she was thankful for the little things, like a kind husband who plugs in her phone for her at night when she forgets. Her daughter who learns new things, and her baby son who smiles a lot. It makes me think of all the little things I'm greatful for. Like a dishwasher to help me with my dishes. A warm home in the middle of the winter. Lights that come on with the flip of a switch. A vehicle that runs and takes me where ever I need to go.

I'm greatful for a husband that respects me and never puts me down. For kids that want to be good (deep down) ;-). They are still kids afterall. What are you greatful for?

Losing it one day at a time!

2010-11-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

This time I'm not talking about my sanity, but my fat. YEAH!! I've lost a whopping 30 pounds in 40 days. I did the hcg diet. I'm now onto phase 3 which is maintenance. I still have some restrictions but not as much as I had for the past 6 weeks. This has been great for me.

Before starting the hcg I'd had another miscarriage and my hormones were way wacked. I felt totally crazy, and not in the fun way. But I started the hcg and immediately felt better. No more crazies. :-) Through the 6 weeks my hormones have balanced out. I've been off the hcg for 1.5 days now and am still feeling good. It's also supposed to help reset my out of wack metabolism. This I am way excited about.

Besides fighting a slight cold, I feel better than I have in years, ok maybe even 8 years. It's nice to feel like you want to live and can do things other than just for survival. After 6 weeks of maintenance I can do another round of hcg if needed. We'll see when I get there. I started out at,.... ok I'm going to tell my weight here... but I think I'm ok with that....215 lbs. and am now 187 lbs. I'd still like to lose another 30 pounds, but at this time I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I will get there. Life is Good. Pictures to come later. ;-)

Life goes on. :)

2010-11-16T20:23:00.000-08:00

Life is good. I'm greatful for all that I have. I've been doing a special diet and have finally been able to lose some weight. So far I've lost 28 pounds, and I'm finally feeling better. Better than I have for a long time.

It's been six and a half months.

2010-10-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

wow, what to say. Somedays I feel great. Others I just want to scream at everyone who walks past me and sees me with no baby, and has no idea what happened, that "I just had a baby dang-it" It seems like just yesterday sometimes. It still really hurts, and I miss him. Other people's babies are growing up all around me. Mine is too, he's growing spiritually, we just can't see his growth right now, can't mark it on the wall, or ooooh and ahhh over all his progress. I know that someday I'll be able to raise him and touch him and hold him. This does bring great comfort. But it doesn't take away the pain of not having him now. I'll be patient. I have to. But it doesn't just go away. I'm greatful for the memories I do have, and the moments I feel close to him. I'm greatful for all the blessings my Father in Heaven has given me. I know He cares.

Zeke Quilts

2010-09-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Here are the quilts we made for Zeke for the kids to remember him by. I realized that I hadn't posted them yet.

Gratitude

2010-08-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd list a few things that I'm greatful for. Things that help me get over the crazies.

1. The temple-- I can feel such peace and love when I got there. It feels like coming home after you've been gone for some time. Once after missing a few weeks, when I was able to go again I almost cried just walking into the building, the feeling was so familiar and needed. Since Zeke passed I've been able to go almost every week. Which leads me to another "thing" I'm greatful for.

2. Friends who watch my kids so that I can go to the temple so often. Friends that I can call when I feel so crazy. Friends that I know will come at the drop of a hat, the minute they know I need help. And of course my sisters are included in my list of friends that I can count on. And friends that evne though they are far away, still love and pray for me. Friends that when you see them again, even 18 years later, are still as close as when we parted.

3. Kids. Even though they can contribute to my crazy emotions, they also still love me and depend on me even after my meltdowns. I love them. Sometimes we take turns having meltdowns. But that's normal, right? he he.

4. My sweet husband, who is so special to me that he gets his own category. I love him. There are not words to say what he does for me.

well, kids need to eat, and that means I must go to fix something. :) So i'll think somemore on this subject and perhaps that will help me through this day. :)

ahhhhh! the crazies! three months.

2010-07-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

I feel so crazy inside sometimes. i'm sure it's still grieving stuff, but I just don't know. I understand the plan that our Heavenly Father had for us. And I've been blessed with amazing spiritual experiences. I know where Zeke is and why and what he's doing there. But the mortal part of me, wait that's all of me, he he, still hurts sometimes. I'm so greatful for this experience, and all that we have learned and gotten from it. I just wish my head and body didn't feel so crazy.

I feel like I'm forgetting something all the time. You know the feeling you get when you're packing for a trip and you think you may have forgotten something, but you just can't think of what it is. I just can't seem to keep my head on straight. I'm emotional and close to tears a lot of the time. I feel fat and ugly, and stupid with my words. Things just don't come out of my mouth right. I think perhaps I should not talk so much until I can reinstall my brain to mouth filter. Of course of lot of these feelings could just be postpartum. The problem is cuz I don't have the baby to care for I guess I just think that I shouldn't have to deal with all that other stuff. But it's still there. I just have to keep reminding myself that even though I don't physically have a baby here, that I did have a baby three months ago and it does take time for everything to heal. oh well. Life is still GOOD and this too shall pass.

Meeting Zeke

2010-04-25T10:15:00.001-07:00

I definately know that there is a God for I have felt the presence of His precious spirits testifying of Him and the plan that He has for us.

Zeke first checked in with me the day after Madi was born. I knew that there was another spirit waiting to come to our family. This feeling lingered with me for about a month and then he left me alone for a little over a year. I knew that we had a little boy waiting. I got pregnant in Deember of 08. The week before Christmas we miscarried. Two months later I found myself prego again. Then in April 08 we miscarried. It sound crazy but we really weren't trying. I was trying to let my body heal first, but found myself prego again in June. In July we miscarried again. Now let me assure you that our methods of prevention have worked for 7 years, but not this year. :) Zeke really wanted to come. At first I thought we were miscarrying because the first three fetusus must not have been viable. But now after having been through this experience and having had many spiritual impressions I've come to understand Zeke's calling and purpose in this life better. I now believe that he was waiting for the body that would allow him to fullfill his mission. This body was not a perfect body as to the worlds standards, but it was a body with Trisomy 18 that was perfect for what he needed to accomplish.

In Aug I found that I was again pregnant. During all of these pregnancies I could feel Zeke checking in with me. Sometimes he would follow us around for a bit. But usually he would check in for just a moment, just long enough to let me know that he was there. I got the feeling that his personality was much like his dad's; kind and gentle, generous, but doesn't like to bother others.

I was in my 20th week of pregnancy when we went in for a routine ultra sound. This was December 1, 2009. When I look back I realize that I was not shocked that something was wrong, but I was shocked by the severity of it. I'd had some impressions before this time that things may not be completely normal. So I was thinking that I might have a baby with downs, but I never shared these thoughts with anyone. As we dealt with the news that our sweet baby boy was going to have many problems and may not live very long if at all, we recieved much support. It was also during this time that I started to feel him move just once in a while, more like once or twice a day. I also noticed that as I could feel him move he was not checking in anymore on the outside. This is when I realized that his spirit was nolonger visiting us but constantly with us in his body inside of me. :)

Zeke was breach for almost all of my pregnancy. I started to feel very anxious that he was going to be born breach. I prayed very hard and talked to him to get him to turn head down. I knew this would be hard for him because he didn't move a lot and when he did his movements were small. But Zeke is an obedient child. When we went in for our last ultra sound in April, he was head down. He must have moved inch by inch very slowly because I did not feel him do it, except looking back I can remember feeling him on the sides of my belly, but I did not know at the time that's what was happening.

However, it was God's plan that he be born breach. So about a week before he was born he again inched his way back to being breach. Again I had no idea this was happening at the time. I was as surprised as the doctors to find him breach in delivery.

Zeke was born March 26th 2010 at 11:13 pm. He lived a moment, blinked at his dad, and then went back to his heavenly home. He did all that he could, which wasn't easy, to stay alive for as long as he could. He fulfilled his mission.

We are so greatful for the opportunity of having Zeke in our family and blessing our lives. we are so thankful to have met him.

Our Grand Adventure

2010-04-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

Wow, what an adventure we are having. Our sweet baby boy, Zeke Ellis Stanger, was born almost 2 weeks ago on March 26th at 11:13 pm. My doctor said he lived a minute. He lived a moment just long enough to blink at his daddy. His face was beautiful. He had blue eyes just like the rest of us. His lips were beautiful and very red just like Lily's. His hair was golden just like Madison's and his hands were big like his big brother Wesley and his dad.

We've had so many little and big miracles to help us along the way. Zeke is one special spirit. I can still feel him hanging around with us. I'm so glad that we are a forever family, and I know that we will be able to see Zeke again, we'll be able to raise him in the millenium. I can't wait until I can put my arms around him again.

There is so much to say about our adventure that it'll have to be done in several posts. For now I feel much like an olympic gold medalist must feel like when they have to go back to the real world after such a great experience. I feel like I have done something really great and been a part of something marvelous, and now or soon have to go back to the real world. but I have hung my "medals"/pictures on the wall and hope to be able to remember every moment of our grand adventure.

The tooth fairy

2010-03-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

So we must be the last stop on the toothfairies list. Cuz the last two times she's come to our house she's been late. My son is an early riser and has gotten up before the toothfairy has been there. Last night he decided to put his tooth on his desk instead of under his pillow. I told him that should be fine. I totalled planned on having the toothfairy come before I went to sleep, but um...forgot. My son came in to my room this morning and said, "Mom I guess you have to put your tooth under the pillow," huh? "the tooth fairy didn't come. So I put it under my pillow, maybe she'll come while I'm at school." ooooooooooooh, I said as the lights in my head finally came on.

Anyway, He went back and checked again after telling his sister that the toothfairy hadn't come. I happened to be in his sister's room, when he came running in saying, "she did come!!!" Yeah, toothfairy. She even paid him for his last tooth that he lost down the drain. I told him she must have been very busy last night. hm.... maybe she won't be so late next time. he he he.

Some Dreams do come true :)

2010-03-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

So I had another ultrasound a couple weeks ago, and there was some good news. His head is now down, YEAHH!!!! I've been so worried about delivering breach. Cuz it could be harder for Zeke. It's funny though because he doesn't make any big movements so he either moved inch by inch, which is possible or ....

About a week before my scan I dreamed that he flipped head down. In my dream I could feel him moving and so I took my hands and pushed on my belly to push his head down and in my dream I felt him go fllloppp. Head down. So i'm not sure what really happened, but I think it's fun to think that my dream was really real. Now if I could just have labor in my sleep. he he!!

Quilting Fun for remembering Zeke

2010-03-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine got a bunch of cute bacy print material from one of her friends and she invited me over to make a blanket for Zeke. We decided to make three blankets one for each of my older kids to remember Zeke by. We're going to have his name with a message. "Zeke Ellis Stanger Loves You." Emroidered on each quilt. It was so fun making them. We got two tops made yesterday, and the third started. I'm going to finish the third top and my friend is going to get the other two ready for tieing. So we'll get one more day of playing out of it.

My plan is to take the quilts with us to the hospital and after Zeke is born, hopefully while he's still alive, but if not we'll still take the pictures. One picture of him wrapped in each quilt with each of my other kids holding him. Then After he's gone they will still have that quilt and the picture to remeber him by.

million dollar idea

2010-02-06T20:09:00.000-08:00

So we met with a funeral director so that we can have everything planned ahead and not have to worry about anything at the time it happens. They'll take care of everything we've talked about. Anyway they showed us a booklet of funeral programs, with pretty pictures on the outside. The small programs that you see at funerals. Well, we were looking at them and there were a couple we kind of liked but not totally. Then I thought I'd really like one of those Greg Olsen pictures the one with Christ holding a small boys hand and walking with him. So I went to Crowley's book store to see if they have any funeral stationary with those pictures.

And here's the million dollar idea. They don't and the owner didn't know of any Greg Olsen pics. on funeral stuff. Anyway, so he's going to call the company and see if they can get it. Wow, if they don't we thought that would open up a whole new market for the Greg Olsen co. I think when people see those options in the booklet they would get picked all the time. So great idea, we couldn't believe that no one else had ever asked for them. Too bad we can't make money on the idea. LOL. oh well, someone will.

I have a funny sense of Humor, I know, some might even say weird.

2010-01-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we've been meeting with the cemetary and funeral home, so that everything is taken careof ahead of time and we won't have to worry about it when the time comes. So that's not the funny part. But it was when we were talking to the lady at the cemetary. She was telling us that the cost of spaces depends on where you want to be in the park. I thought ok, and then she took us out on the tour. I just had to laugh. There is a creek that runs through the cemetary park. The spaces on the "water-front property" are more expensive then the other spaces. I just think it's funny. I think when i'm dead I won't care whether i'm on water-front property or not. It's just like regular real-estate. I don't know why, it just strikes my funny bone.

We're planning on getting two spaces one for me and one for Kip and then they'll put Zeke in what they call the marker row so we won't have to purchase a seperate space for him. So we're probably going to get a big marker and have all of our names put on it now instead of later then later they'll just have to put our last date. So we were talking about it and i just blurted out. Hey Kip we can come and visit our-selves. That seems kind of funny too. oh well, maybe you're thinking my sense of humor is weird. well, maybe it is. My family always told me I was weird, in a good way though. He he.

Hello Zeke Ellis Stanger - via ultra-sound :)

2010-01-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

Side profile with his mouth open. :)

Cute little face. Don't worry the dark side on the side of his face is just the result of the scanner. He has a beautiful head. We love you Zeke!

Update!!!

2010-01-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

So here's the update on our situation. We had an amniocentisis done and the diagnosis is Trisomy 18. This means that the 18th Chromosome has three strands instead of 2. For example Trisomy 21 is Downs Syndrome. Trisomy 18 is also called Edwards Syndrome. The picture below shows some of the charactaristics of Edwards Syndrome. If you want more info. you can google Trisomy 18 and go to the Trisomy 18 foundation page, or go to http://www.soft.uk.org/ they also have info on it.

Some t-18 babies have no other structural symptions, but then some have all of the symptoms. They don't know why this happens. They say that 50% of of t-18 babies are still born. of those born alive 10% might live past their first birthday. The average life expectancy is 10 days. Out little guy has almost all the symptoms. Perhaps more. he has:(for those who may be squimish you can skip the next paragraph.)

He has fluid on the brain. Some of his brain has developed but is under pressure from the fluid, and some parts have not developed. His heart has a big hole in the the ventricular wall and fluid in his abdomen which they say is indicitive of heart failure. But he does have a good heart beat right now. His intestines and possibly liver are on the outside of his abdomen. He has lots of problems and curves in his back. He does have the rocker bottom feet. And it looks like his hands might be attached at the elbows. It's possible he could have a cleft palat but we haven't seen this for sure yet, and his esophogus might not connect to his stomach. We have an ultra sound on the 20th of this month. So we'll hopefully be able to check on these last two symptoms.

Anyway, for now he is alive and well. I can usually feel him moving at least once a day. Sometimes two-three times. After we do a zone therapy session for him I can feel him move a lot more like 6-7 times in a day for a couple days. This is nice. And makes me feel like I'm actually able to help him in some way. I've also found a great group of other t-18 moms on face book. They are in all stages of the journey, Some are like me prego with a t-18 child others, are taking care of their t-18 children. It's encouraging to see these kids living. And others are dealing with the loss of their child. It's nice to be able to communicate with them and know that I am not alone.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

2010-01-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

Life is good. We're taking it one day at a time. I still have good days and some sad, but definately more good than bad. I didn't get Christmas card out this year, but please know that you are loved. And maybe well get something out later.

Love you all, thanks for your prayers, your love and support!!!

fast

2009-12-07T08:31:00.001-08:00

Just a quick update. Our Ward has decided to do a special fast for us on Sunday the 13th. Soanyone who would like to join us, please do so. Love you all. Thanks!

Prayers are appreciated

2009-12-03T17:00:00.000-08:00

Well here's the news. We went to get our routine ultrasound on tuesday, and It's a boy. But our sweet little one has a lot of problems, so much so that they don't expect him to live long if at all after his birth. Anyway, we are greatful to still be pregnant. The news of course is very sad for us. Not for our sweet one of course, cause he just gets to come and get a body and go back to Heavenly Father. It's not a tragedy or even terrible, just sad for us. But we're doing good. We still have 5 months left and so far we are ok. But for those of you who would like to your prayers in our behalf are appreciated. Thank you all for your love an support.

News!!! - The Egyptian Flu -- i'm going to be a mummy. he he

2009-10-16T17:02:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm hopefull enough to finally post. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. After three miscarriages I've been hesitant to announce. But the heart beat is strong, and I've made it to the second trimester which is good for me. I'm still sick but that's actually good, cause it shows i've got enough of the pregnancy hormones to keep the baby. However, the intensity is lessing in the morning. but by late afternoon I'm sick enough to feel confident that things are still ok. Weird, I know, but then stephie (my sister) always said I was weird. Love ya tons stephie.

Anyway I'm excited, and happy. This little spirit has been hanging around for a while now, and I'm sure is just so anxious to get here.

Just my opinion for what it's worth

2009-09-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm weighing in on the Obama back to school speech and lesson plan. While I don't have a problem with the topic of his speech, striving for higher education is a worthy goal, I do have a problem with the president providing a lesson plan to schools, and I'll tell you why.

First of all I just read in the newspaper in an opinion column how the columnist thought that everyone who made a big deal out of this whole thing was a fool. It's the president of the USA and we shouldn't have a problem with him speaking to our kids. While he acknowledge that there are people who don't want their kids to hear/learn anything from this president there was nothing controversial about the speech.

Well, I beg to differ. I think that the president's initial question to kids in his lesson plan, "to write what you can do for your president" was not an oops but was a calculated question. He knows that there is a big difference in asking what one can do for their country, and asking what they can do for their president. He wanted to see what the response would be.

Have you ever heard the lesson on how to boil a frog. Well if you put a frog in boiling water it immediately jumps out. But if you put that same frog in cold water and slowly turn up the temperature he will not jump out and will end up boiled. President Obama's question, "what can you do for your president" was designed to test the temperature of the waters. For many of us it was boiling and we are jumping out. But for many it wasn't bad and they are still in the pot.

As I was watching the news one lady said, "it's not patriotic to not watch the president when he speaks." At first I started buying into that. Then as my husband and I talked I realized how sly pres. Obama is, and I tend to agree with the second lady who said, it's not right that he is getting campaign exposure to those kids who will be just able to vote in the next election.

Because, if he sets a precedent of sending lesson plans to school, which is not his job by the way, his job is to be running the government, not teaching our kids. My kids have great teachers. Anyway I digress, if he sets the precedent of sending lesson plans, maybe just the one welcome back to school the first year, or maybe a ending of school plan, and then next year a monthly plan and who knows, how about a weekly plan. He's just turning up the waters temperature. How long before he asks the same question, " what can you do for your president" and no body even bats an eye.

Well I for one say no. Please stick to running the government Mr. President and leave the lesson plans to the teachers and parents. I think that its one thing to be broadcast on every channel in the evening when parents are with their kids and can choose to watch or not watch, or at least filter what their child is seeing and hearing by letting their child know what they do or do not agree with. It's a totally different thing to start broadcasting messages to children in schools away from their parents, where the message can be taught as fact not opinion to eager children willing to soak up everything.

Hitler understood this principle and took over the schools, teaching and brainwashing the children in every aspect of their learning. He even made math story problems where children were calculating how many Jews, or sick people to get rid of. Before parent's knew what was being taught, to their kids it was fact. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that our president is a Hitler. I'm just saying that he's smart and knows how to campaign and get his propaganda out there.

I'll keep my family, my religion, my health care, and my guns someone else can keep the "change". But that's just my opinion.

Girl's camp -- the reason for my absence

2009-06-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

We made it. After months and months of planing and a couple weeks of scrambling we made it and finally were able to take off to the mountains with about 160 girls and 30 some leaders, all together we had about 190 people at camp. We had great food, and lots of fun. Sister Fowers made capri sun bags for everyone to carry their stuff in at camp. We also let them decorate thier own journals to carry every where to all the events and and write their thoughts and collect the spiritual thought glue in at each one. We did some archery and scraped amphitheather benches for service, we tied quilts for humanitarian aid. Tina and I made 7 quilts from fabric left over from material for the trek bonnets and scarfs. They turned out beautiful. I don't have pictures yet. I forgot my camera, but i plan on getting pictures from someone. We all survived the week and had some great spiritual moments and fun times. We also learned a lot so we can make next years camp better. ahhhh, It's good to be done. And now on to the next, project.

EASTER

2009-04-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

Madison Jean Stanger in her Easter Dress.
Lily Anne Stanger in her Easter dress. What a pretty poser.

Wesley in his Easter Tie. hmm...what a smile.

All three Stanger kids. Ya gotta love em. Ok I do. :)

And here's the whole Family.

HaPpY EaStEr!!!

2009-04-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

We had a great Dalton easter reunion. It was so fun to see everyone from mom's family again. We got to hear a story about our great-great granpa. His name was John Peter Erickson. When he was nine years old he lived with his family in Sweden, when a Missionary came to their home from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His family were not members of the church, but The missionary was running for his life. Mobsters were after him and trying to kill him. John's family hide the missionary in their barn, under the turnip greens. John's mom, Emma Christina Norberg Erickson would hide some food for the missionary in the bottom of the grain bucket as she went out to milk the cow. After a while the mobsters quit coming around to look for him and the missionary decided to move on to the next town, but he did not know how to get there. So the Family sent John Peter, 9 years old, with the missionary to the next town, because that was the safest time of day for the missionary to be out. John led him to the next town and came back by himself. It was later in his life, after his father had passed away that John Peter Erickson brought his mother to the United States to be with the saints.

Cool story eh? Anyway, then we heard the stories that Mom and her brothers and sisters remembered about Grandma, their mother. That was cool too.

And now for the door prize. I'm guessing it was about 8 years ago, because it was before I was married we signed our names at the reunion to squares of levi with a permanent black marker. Someone helped grandma make these squares into a quilt. Grandma gave this quilt as a door prize. And we got it. I was so excited, I love it. They actually drew Lily's name, but at 4 she's not quite old enough to truley appreciate what we have here. Someday she will. hmm... maybe when i'm gone. he he he.

Just Kidding - false alarm

2009-03-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

ok, so next time I'll just wait a little while longer before rushing out to tell everyone that I'm prego. Surprise- I'm not any more. Yes, I misscarried. But please don't feel sorry for me. I'm really doing well. I'm had soooo many friends offering to help me and take care of me and my family. All I can do is say Thank you to you all. I love and appreciate you all and feel so blessed to have so many dear friends. I've had meals brought in, sweet sisters that came and got my kids, and even sisters to come and make me laugh. I almost feel like I'm taking advantage of everyone's generosity, but just almost. :) I'm truley just greatful. I love you all. Thanks more than words can say.

NEWS!!!!

2009-03-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

So Life has been crazy lately. Here's just a few of our latest moments. While coming home last wednesday the transmission started going out on our car. Luckily we had used our tax return to get a truck, which we used to tow our car into the shop. The next day the shop called, they were trying to back it in to the shop (it would only go in reverse) when the engine ceased. So now they are fixing the engine and the transmission, which normally would add up to $$$$$$$. However there is a silver lining in the deal. When we bought the car we purchased an extended warrantee, which by the way expires,......... the end of this month! So we figure we must be doing something right. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the blessings. My mom said, "You must be paying your tithing. Yeahhhhh Thank goodness for tithing. Anyway it gets better. Out water heater started going out. But, my inlaws had an extra. So we are now in good shape. And Last but certainly not least.......................................I'm expecting. YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Life is good, and definately an adventure.

Just for you!

2009-02-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

This will be fun. thanks Melanie.Okay so the first 5 people to respond to this post will receive something made by me to you.my choice.made especially for you.of course there are some restrictions and limitations:
1 i make no guarantees that you will like what i make!2 what i create will be just for you.
3 it will be done sometime this year.4 you have no clue what it will be... it may be a story. it may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. i may draw or paint something. i may bake something and mail it to you. who knows? not you, thats for sure.
5 i reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? oh the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on their blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did will win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!!oh and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!!

Stepping out of my comfort zone

2009-01-26T11:08:00.001-08:00

Who knew what an adrenaline rush it could be to follow the scriptures council to increase our talents. I've been trying this year to accept more opportunities that stretch me. For example I accepted an opportunity to sing a solo in our wards Christmas program. I sang O Holy Night. It was fun preparing with my friend who played the piano, but the day of the program we went to practice at the church, I almost totally froze just singing for a couple people and the kid vacuuming the floors in the chapel. I was so nervous. As we practiced and got some advice it got better. But when it got time to go I was so scared I almost started crying even before we left to go to the church. I had to have my husband give me blessing and then all went well. It was a great high afterwards, I felt like I was walking on clouds. YEAH...

But it doesn't stop there. A couple weeks ago I said yes to the lady who asked me to choreograph a dance for a highschool/ community pagent. It's entertainment between numbers a swing dance number, right up my alley, except I've never choreographed a whole number by me self for such a large event, needless to say i'm a bit nervous, our first practice is this thursday. YIKES. Wish me luck.

And last but not least friday our sunday school pres. called and asked if I'd teach Gospel Doctrine on Sunday, because he just found out he couldn't be there. I took a deep breath and remembered my resolve to stretch myself and said yes, and spent 3-4 hours sat. night preparing. So I taught my first ever gospel Doctrine class on sunday. It turned out ok. And was so fun. Once again I'm on cloud nine.

It's been very scary, nerve racking, and fun. I'm learning a lot. I'm not perfect at all those new things but at least I'm trying them. It truly is a rush, I highly recommend it, try something new today. :)

Happy Birthday Lily

2009-01-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

We now have a beautiful four year old Lily. She had a fun birthday and was soooooo excited. It helped me remember the feeling as a kid of being so excited that this was MY special day. Everything that day was for me. And my sweet Lily is just the same. I couldn't help but be so proud of my Wesley as well. He was almost just as excited, running into her room to wake her up and tell her it was her birthday. He wanted to make sure that he got to hand her some of her presents to open. I love my kids. I'd put up the picture but my computer is being cranky.

Merry Christmas 2008 and Happy New Year 2009!

2008-12-17T09:37:00.000-08:00

Hello Family and Friends! Wow it’s already been a year. Sometimes I can’t believe it and other times it seems like ages ago. What to say in a page that covers the lives of a family over the course of the entire year. Life is Crazy, life is good, and our year has been just that crazy good.
SOMETIMES
Sometimes there’s ups and sometimes there’s downs. Sometimes you feel like climbing and sometimes you just need a bath. Sometimes we are the big fish in the little pond,

and sometimes our shoes, and mittens feel like they’re just too big. Sometimes you feel like your going over the edge.
Sometimes you feel caught in a tight place,

and sometimes you just need a peak at what’s going on out there. Sometimes you just have to have some patience, and Sometimes… you just want to chill. Sometimes you just need a nap. Sometimes you feel like your digging for treasure, and sometimes ……………you find it! And Sometimes everything just works out. Although life can be crazy, Life is good, and we are living it. Life is an adventure. We hope that all is well with you. And that you and yours can also feel the wonderful love of our Savior. His love is always not just sometimes. Love the Stangers; Kip, Leejean, Wesley, Lily and Madi.

Christmas Tag

2008-12-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Season!!!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both.
2. Real tree or Artificial Tree? Real
3. When do you put up the tree? As soon as we can after thanksgiving day.
4. When do you take the tree down? After New Years
5. Do you like eggnog? Love it.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? One year my whole family pitched in an saved to get me an electric key board.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Kip
8. Easiest person to buy for? The kids
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Four, counting our tree ornament. I love nativities.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Both
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't think of one.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? My family watches the Christmas Carol, every year. But I also love Miracle on 34th street, and the Hallmark christmas movies.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever it crosses my mind throughout the year. Definately in November, through December.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not a Christmas present.
15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas candy with peanut-butter and chocolate. ah but that's probably my favorite candy year round.
16. Color of lights on the tree?Multi-colored
17. Favorite Christmas song? I love it all. especially the kids songs.
18. Travel or stay home? Christmas Eve in Richfield with my family, and Christmas day in Hansen with Kip's family.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and of course Rudolf.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Morning except what we get at Grandma and pa Ellis's
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? We keep it pretty simple, so it's all good.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? No theme, all ornaments are accepted.
24. Favorite food for Christmas dinner? Actually It's be christmas breakfast with our very own sugar cereal with bananas and milk.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I can think of things sometimes at other times but when asked at christmas time, my mind goes blank. go figure.

I tag Stephie, Mollie, Janet, Johanna, Shannon, Julieanne, Akeey,

Merry Christmas!!!

Fishing YEAH!!!

2008-11-29T20:31:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine told me of these ponds over in Filer that the fish and game stocked for kids to fish this Friday after Thanksgiving. On friday they even had guys out there with free tackle for kids to use. So we thought we'd go on saturday and see how it was. We had so much fun. And the kids caught tons o' fish. We all had a blast. It was our most productive fishing expedition ever.

Ah.. the booty!

2008-11-29T19:38:00.000-08:00

Each of the kids caught at least 2 fish. It was so exciting. Even Madi caught two.

Here's wesley with his two golden trout. he caught more than that but that's what we have pictures of.Madi caught a fish. But when they flopped on the ground they scared her. She loved looking at them though, as long as they weren't flopping at her. :)

Lily with her first fish. She probably caught the biggest fish, besides one of Grandma's.

Grandma coming back from the big pond. YEAH what a fisher-woman.

look at all the fish! We caught all but two. Someone gave us two. So we caught 16 total. Grandma Stanger caught three on the adult pond. Lily caught two on the adult pond with dad's help. And the rest, the kids caught on the kid pond, with only a little help from dad, mom, and grandma.

Happy Birthday Wesley!

2008-11-29T18:54:00.000-08:00

Wesley turns 6. Wow, he's getting to be such a big boy. Sometimes I just watch him and am amazed that I am his mother. Then I just feel greatful.

This year he wanted a pirate cake. The sails' say "Captain Wesley and 1st Mate Preston" the smaller sail says, "Princess Whitney".

Wesley shares his birthday with two of his cousins Preston turning two, and Whitney turning one. Here he is standing with Preston.

And here is cute little Whitney devouring her one year old cupcake, and using it as a facial mask as well. Maybe frosting on your face really does keep you looking young, he he.

Thanksgiving crafts

2008-11-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who loves to do crafts and has many projects. Right now she says she's trying to de-junk and wanted to finish these crafts quickly, so another friend and I went to help, very willingly, I might add. She had started these cute little scarecrows. She already had the head and bodies stuffed, the legs and arms sewn and the shirts made. So we stuffed legs and arms, sewed them on, dressed them, gave them hair, faces, and a hat. They turned out so cute. We did have to get together two different times to finish them but we did 17 of them. It was sooo much fun. Everyone should have such a friend.

She also had lots of little straw hats left and another project, lots of felt feathers and turkey parts. So she gave me the parts and my kids and I put turkeys together. My cute chilluns picked out their own feathers, colors, all parts, and then I hot glued them on.

My cute kindergartener has been learning about patterns and picked great color patterns for his.

Lily just loves pink. We each did two, so that makes 6 all together. So now we have turkeys hanging on walls, from door knobs, and anywhere else they can think of to move them to. The kids really had a fun time and it wasn't that hard.

The Parable of the Pool

2008-11-13T07:47:00.000-08:00

Just some more of my thoughts. I wanted to record this where i could find it, before I forgot it altogether. About 4 summers ago we bought an above ground swimming pool, it's 16ft. in diameter and 3.5 ft in depth. The first time in the pool Wesley fought it, and even with a life jacket on he clung to me with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and cried. With floaties, however, he was finally able to have fun and not cling to my neck.

After days of going in the pool, Wesley got really good. Then he realized that he could touch and would walk around the pool and have fun without a life jacket or floaties on his arms. Then one day we added more water.

The next time we went out to go swimming, I knew that the water was deeper than Wesley was ready for so on the way out I convinced him to put on a life jacket. He finally decided to put it on and climbed into the pool. He quickly realized that the water was deeper than before, but the life jacket kept him from going under. However, the new situation made him a bit nervous and he clung to me for a little while. But he soon realized that he was ok with the jacket on. After a while he figured out that he could stand on his tippy-toes and tilt his head up and still touch without his jacket, and off he went to have a great time.

As I watched this process unfold I couldn't help but wonder about how our Heavenly Father feels as he watches, nudges, and helps us from beyond the veil. He has given and continues to give us all the tools and help that we need to get through the trials he knows we will face.

Just as Wesley was scared the first time in the pool, we are scared as we face a trial we know is there. We cling to what we know and hopefully to the Lord, and cry, not knowing or realizing that he has already given us what we need to succeed and have fun. When faced with a new calling or new trial we are first overwhelmed with what lays ahead. But as we strive to do it anyway, staying in the pool, little by little we realize that we do have what it takes, and then we learn that we can touch, and off we go. However in life, as in the pool, nothing stays the same. Eventually the water will rise.

I'm always amazed, humbled, and feel truely blessed when I react to a prompting, or even just in keeping the commandments, I find myself prepared for a trial that I didn't even know was there. I'm sure the Lord knowing what lays ahead of us is always trying to convince us to put this "Jacket" on. " Yes, I know you didn't need it last time, but you may need it this time". And if we listen we may feel a bit unsettled or a little overwhelmed by the new situation but then quickly realize that if we stand on our tippy-toes, and tilt out heads back we can stay above the water and continue on, and even find joy in the journey. Then there are always the times we might not listen and find ourselves drowning for an instant, before we reach up and take the before offered "jacket". Thankfully even when we don't listen Heavenly Father, like mothers at the pools edge, is always there to help and pull us up. I'm so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who prepares and helps me through my trials, the known and the unknown, in this journey of life. He even knew from the beginning that we would need a savior, and prepared the way. He sent his Son, Jesus Christ.

Ahhh the price of SWOOP

2008-11-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

My beloved kindergartener wore through the toe is his tennis-shoes. Therefore, alas it is time to re-invest in footwear. So off we go to the store, looking for a deal. We get to the kids section and I see that all of the kids "charater' shoes are on sale. And as much as He liked the shoes with the hulk (his choice of halloween costume) he informed me that they didn't have swoop.

Now my mind instantly goes back to a few weeks ago as I was wearing my tennis-shoes and Wesley said he liked them because they had swoosh. I remember thinking that was interesting and asked a few questions to try and disern just exactly what swoop was. I wasn't sure but figured out it had to do with the toe of the shoe.

So, now standing in the store the investigation becomes more intense. "Does this shoe have swoop?" "No" "ok, does this one?" "yes." Wonderful, I have now figured out that swoop is the shape of the toe. A perfectly rounded toe to be exact. Then that I discovered that the shoes with swoop were not "character" shoes and therefore not on sale. So this time SWOOP cost me an extra $5.

My sister, Jo was with me and just laughed, "Wait until he's in highschool and has to shop at Holisters for "swoop". Well, at that time he will have to pay for his own swoop.

Life is good.

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

Here's my cute goblins.

The Hulk, Snow White, and our cute little pegasus.

Thanks Jessica for the costumes.

Madi ran around the house saying wheeehehehe

Check out those muscles!

What a little princess!

We had a blast and got lots of candy. Which we were amazed that when offered the choice of a surprise under their pillows they traded their candy for it. The surprise ( from the halloween witch, which they knew was really daddy) turned out to be their own pack of mints and then some gum the next night. Which they were surprisingly pleased about. Yeahhhh! But we did keep their candy and are giving some back to them a little at a time. So moms happy and their happy. We sure lucked out this time.

Getting ready for Halloween

2008-10-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

We finally carved some pumpkins. It's fun, Wesley and Lily know their shapes so they got to pick the shape of each feature. Dad drew and mom cut.

This must be our serious faces. Soo cute, oh ya and the pumpkins are too. :)

The Great 8 Tag

2008-10-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

Ok-i'll be tagged, but only cause i love ya Tiffanie.

8 favorite TV shows
1. Probably PBS-Curious George, cause my kids love it and I can get something done in that 1/2 hour.
2. Sid the Science Kid - it teaches investigation and asking questions about your surroundings.
3. Super Why, and Word World - they teach letters and putting words together. My kids love to point out "super-letters" as we drive around town. It's tons of fun!
4. Cyber chase - cause it teaches math in such a fun way for kids. I love MATH!
5. The Biggest Loser Hmmm... nuf said eh? :)
6. Chuck
7. Life
8. The office

8 favorite places to eat
1. My mom's
2. My mother-in-law's
3. Relief Society Enrichment Meetings (always such good food)
4. The Olive Garden
5. Johnny Carino's (my sister works theres)
6. Applebee's
7. Ling Hung (mongolian BBQ) Loooooove it!
8. Anywhere with my cute hubby as a date.

8 things I did yesterday
1. I got up..... he he....and got wesley on the bus.
2. I did lots of computer work for my church calling. (but it's done now :))
3. I folded a batch of laundry.... and got it put away.
4. I went on a "fall colors" scavenger hunt with my kids for Wesley's homework.
5. I had a Math tutor session, and worked with factoring polynomials, oooooo, so much fun I know. Actually it is for me. he he he wierd I know.
6. I cut up veggies for a stew, and I let Lily and Madi put them in the crock-pot.
7. I pushed Madi in the swing outside. Her favorite thing to do.
8. I finally got in bed and went to sleep. Ahhh heaven, I love our bed.

8 things I look forward to
1. hm.... getting comments on my blog. Now that i'm addicted. he he
2. seriously? moments that I get to play with my kids.
3. My birthday
4. My husband's birthday- 4 days later.
5. Holidays
6. Family vacations
7. My husband getting a day off. Cause he works aaaaalllllll the time. Really, just ask my family.
8. Dancing

8 things I love about Fall
1. I love fall.
2. The feeling in the air that something is about to happen.
3. The relief from really hot weather.
4. The colors
5. The mums (fall flowers)
6. Watching the kids play in the leaves
7. Playing in the leaves he he he
8. Thanksgiving. (yams with brown sugar and marshmellows, and stuffing, etc....)

8 things on my wish list
1. A separate room for all my health stuff. ie) My zone therapy stuff, massage table, my husband's inversion swing, etc...
2. To lose X amount of lbs.
3. To visit my old mission areas with my family - anaheim CA
4. Family vacations
5. hm.... I guess I have every thing else I want.
6. oh, ya some extra $$ to pay off bills.
7. And to go shopping and not have to worry about the $$$
8. a small farm with horses.

thanks Tiffanie that was Fun. More fun than I thought it would be.

I tag janet.... and any other of my sisters that reads this. But I know that janet will.

Second Snow

2008-10-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday must have just been a warning. Because today it's been snowing almost all day.

I just can't resist snow covered flowers. It seems like such an impossibility and yet, there it is.
The same roses as yesterday, just more snow. More snow pictures!We've been out in it twice now, and of course "have" to have hot chocolate every time we come in out of the cold. But I can't complain because it's the best kind of snow. It sticks.

Meet Frosty, in October? I actually came in after this and listened to some Christmas music. Yeah!

And who can't resist a snow fort. It was so much fun. We had a BLAST.

The First Snow of the season -I dare you to pick a favorite.

2008-10-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

It started snowing, I was looking out the window and noticed the snowflakes collecting on my roses. It was so pretty I just had to get a picture. I was hard pressed to pick a favorite, so here's all of them. I'm glad I went out when I did, because about 20 minutes later the snow was melted.

Fighting for My Freedoms

2008-10-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

I've just been thinking, which as of yet is still my "right". In listening to the presidential debates and hearing the two different plans on health care, I am reminded of a similar scenario where two plans were presented.

One plan was Heavenly Fathers plan to allow all of his children to go down to earth and receive a body and have their own agency to choose what they will do. The other plan was Satan's plan. He wanted all of Heavenly Fathers children to return to Him also, but instead of allowing us to make our own choices satan's plan was to FORCE everyone to do what was right and therefore all would return. Thankfully, satan's plan was rejected, and we all came to earth with our own agency and opportunities to choose and find our way back to God.

In the debates one plan (McCain's) although not perfect does open state lines for more CHOICES. Where the other plan (Obama's) will FORCE everyone to have health insurance, because if you don't he will fine you. Now unless i'm mistaken the main reason people choose to not have insurance is because they can't afford it. So if they can't afford insurance they certainly can't afford another fine. I know their plans are more complicated than that but that's the basics.

Now, too often we think of fighting for freedom as done by the soldiers. However, if we as American's don't step up and fight for our own freedoms in this election we may lose them to Obama who will take them for our own best interest. Because he thinks he knows what's best for all of us. As for me I believe that I know what's best for me and my family, not the government. And what's best for me is Patriotism as defined as loving ones country, not as obama says in how many taxes you pay.

I can't believe that a man who would turn his back on the American flag, refuses to wear the flag on his lapel because he might offend someone, among many other things has made it this far in an American presidential election.

Well, I am someone and I am offended. I am an American and although it's not perfect, am proud of my country. I'm thankful for the freedoms that I have and am grateful to all those who fought to give me these rights. The American Flag represents those freedoms and those men and women who fought to give us a country. It represents working together to help each other.

Fight for your Freedoms. Don't give them away. Although I don't agree with everything McCain talks about at least I know that McCain loves America. Has fought for it, and respects the flag.

Well, that's just some of my thoughts. If you agree GREAT. If not, well, that ok, too. aren't you glad we still have the right to disagree. We can even agree to disagree. HAVE A GREAT DAY.

My science kids

2008-10-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

Wesley did this experiment at school and was dieing to show it to me and his sisters. I was actually with one of my tutor students and I knew his experiment involved milk, food coloring, a Q-tip and soap. Now with my 5, 3, and 1 year olds I kind of wanted to be involved with the implementing of the experiment. But, he couldn't wait. and i have to admit I was pleasantly surprised at how well they did it without making a big mess. But you pour a little milk on a paper plate and then drop the food coloring in different places in the milk. Then you take the Q-tip and dip it in the dish soap and then touch the tip to each color. as the colors explode away from the soap they make really quite beautiful "images". So we took pictures. I had to post them all because I really couldn't pick a favorite. Needless to say I was very impressed with my little scientists.

Do you have a strange mind?

2008-10-02T22:35:00.001-07:00

This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psot it on yuor own bolg!!!!

Ok so i got this from the Ellis blog, but I thought it was very interesting. hmmmmm...

Mollie's Baby girl

2008-09-18T19:58:00.001-07:00

Yes, its a girl. A beautiful 6 lb. 15 oz. 21 inch baby girl. They named her Zoe Mae Harmison. She was born at 5:00 am. When i can i'll get pictures to post.

Another New Beginning

2008-09-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

As my dad says, "there's no rest for the wicked..... and the righteous don't need any." hopefully I fit on the righteous end, Although some days I feel like I could surely use a good rest. Sooo, back to no rest. We just finished up the Youth Temple Celebration, which ended up spectacular, and I was thinking ok things will settle down now and we can start getting our regular routine in with the girls....etc....when I get a call from my father-in-law, who just happens to be the stake executive secretary. Annnnd long story, short, I'm now going to be in the new Stake Young Women's Presidency as their secretary. Needless to say this will be a new challenge. Lest you think I dread the calling, I must say that I am very excited. The women I'll be working with are incredible and fun. I'm very excited but tomarrow we'll be meeting with the old presidency so after that I may be a bit more overwhelmed. But that is to be expected. It will be a call to challenge, teach and stretch me, as i've never been a secretary before. But as one of my Mission Zone leaders always said, "the church is still true, and the Pope is still catholic" anyway I know we'll be blessed and the Lord will provide.

First Day of Kindergarten

2008-08-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

Here's my big boy all ready for his first day of school. He's so excited and a little nervous. I took him and then went out to the playground with him until the bell rang. He's so tall that at first when the bell rang they were letting him go in with the big kids instead of the kindergarten door, but then we got him in the right place, and off he went. I made it to the parking lot before a tear or two fell, but then I saw a friend of mine to talk with that helped. Life's an Adventure!!

Well, I'm a girl so....

2008-08-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

Wesley and Lily were thinking of what to get for their friend Travis for his Birthday party today. Wesley says "I'm going to school so i'll think about it." and Lily replies with, "Well, I'm a girl so I'll do it." End of conversation. Hmm

Looking forward to School

2008-08-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Wesley definately is. He's been counting down the days ever since I showed him on the calendar 10 more days. Now it's down to 3 more days. I'm excited for him, but not for me. I'm going to miss him soooo much. I'm also not ready to let someone else have the most time with him every day. He seems so young, but is growing fast. Hansen has all day Kindergarten. Everyone says he'll be fine and I'm sure he will. And I will too, I guess. We all must grow up, even Moms.

What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth mom?

2008-08-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

A pretty excited boy!! Wesley just pulled his own tooth. The first of many.

Summer Fun

2008-08-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a more recent picture of my kids. This is the pool Madi got from Grandma Stanger for her 1st birthday. Although I love Fall, I hate to see summer go. So I'm glad we have a few more warm days left to make the most of.

A big Fish

2008-08-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

Kip and his first big fish. A 32 inch steelhead.

Our Family

2008-08-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

Introducing from left to right. Lily, Madison (madi), and Wesley. The picture is a little old, but i'll post a newer one as soon as I can. i'm just starting to figure this blog stuff out.